Humour: What football will be like in 2020.

(Getty)

Mike Ashley has signed Alan Pardew up to a monster eight-year deal until 2020, so what will the footballing landscape be like by then?

We hazard a guess or two…

Fergie: “This is my last year”

Record-breaking manager Sir Alex Ferguson has revealed that this season will be his final campaign in management. Manchester United had been fretting about who will replace the Scottish boss since he first announced his retirement in 2002, 2013, 2016 and again last year, but now an Old Trafford source has exclusively revealed that the club doesn’t expect the former Aberdeen manager to leave.

Bankrupted clubs attempt to return to former glories

” Chelsea halted their plummeting through the divisions when a deflected Frank Lampard shot kept them up on the final day at Macclesfield last season, and now they are set to contest the fourth-tier playoff final against City only seven years after a historic quadruple for the Sky Blues.

While the quadruple is often considered tainted by ‘glove-gate’, the Manchester club have always defended the £400million sponsorship deal for Richard Wright’s left goalkeeper glove as a ‘legitimate endorsement opportunity that in no way was designed to circumvent FFP regulations’

Big Sam gets the big job

Carroll may hope to follow his former boss (Sam Allardyce) to the Santiago Bernabeu, but after spending €450billion on 112 players and 8 managers since Jose Mourinho left, the Madrid club are hoping to cut costs, and by negotiating Allardyce’s contract in Spanish, they’re hoping their new manager doesn’t realise that he’s agreed to a salary of €60 per month.”

Wenger: “This year could be our year”

” Speaking at a press conference, Wenger revealed he is full of confidence after the club posted another £4billion profit, and promised to reinvest at least 0.01% of that into his playing squad:

“The healthy financial state of the business is more far important than winning cups and such frivolity, but this year could well be our year” said the Frenchman.”

Come on you Reds (Sox)

Third-tier Liverpool are facing a temporary move to Boston while repair work is carried out on their crumbling Anfield stadium.

Built in 1884, the football ground next to Stanley Park is in desperate need of some structural redevelopment and the owners have decided to take the club across the Atlantic for this season.”

Prime Minister in ‘jobs for the boys’ furore

” Sources at 10 Downing Street have said that newly-elected PM Sir David Beckham is incandescent with rage over accusations of nepotism levelled at him in the wake of his first cabinet reshuffle.

The former England footballer had barely set foot through the big black door when he appointed chum Gary Neville as sports minister, saying that his former colleague had dazzled him with an impressive presentation on a giant iPad 12, but this prompted much criticism on social network Twitter:” 

And many others. Read how football will look at in 2020.

 

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One Comment on “Humour: What football will be like in 2020.”

  1. Asfand October 1, 2012 at 11:00 pm #

    One word… Brilliant!

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